Long distance love life

I’m in college, so naturally, girls come up quite a bit. I’d say girls probably account for 50% of all the conversations in my dorm room (mainly because of a particular friend of mine named Matt).

Regardless of how much we talk about girls, our knowledge is still pretty primitive. That being said, what are your opinions on long distance dating? Is it good, bad? Healthy, unhealthy? Difficult, impossible?

My brother and his fiance (I’m not sure how to add the french little apostrophe thing) have dated for a long time, and the past 3 years or so have been long distance. They pulled it off. But do you think it’s wise?

How would you advise someone considering a long distance relationship? Student Pastors, think through this for your seniors. They will be making decisions in the next couple months about breaking-up or staying together. Not to mention decisions about what to do physically since “this is our last time to see each other <3… we need to make it count.” How do you advise them?

 

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10 comments

  1. Thanks for the love, Nate. (& Trust me, finding the apostrophe is more difficult than it’s worth).

    Obviously, I believe that long distance dating can work & can be very healthy. But it is difficult. The challenge is keeping a deep relationship when it is so easy to get caught up in surface level conversations.. The “Hey, how was your day?” type of stuff….

    I think Mary & I being together for a while before our relationship went long difference helped a lot. Starting off long distance would make it more difficult, but it can be done if you’re intentional about getting to really know the person.

    I would say that technology (e.g. skype) has made it a little easier, but then again I’ve seen one too many Civil War documentaries on PBS where they would write letters to each other.

    And remember, 1 in ever 4 relationships start online these days.

    1. Haha that’s true.. they were definitely doing it in the Civil War. I think what you said about knowing each other before hand is important. It seems like it would be hard to develop a deep connection long distance.

  2. I met my wife in Argentina after my first year in college on a short term mission trip. We first became friends and got to know each other for a year through internet interaction only. One year later we both knew the interest in dating and marriage was there and we started dating two weeks into my two month internship with a mission organization.

    We would go roughly six months at a time without seeing each other. We would talk for 30 minutes to an hour every night on the phone and of course use technology such as skype to see each other. This allowed us to get to know each other emotionally much more than most couples because of the distance, which I actually found very healthy. Many of my former relationships had heavily focused on physical aspects, but our relationship did not allow for much of that.

    We knew each other for a total of three years before marrying, two years of which we dated. I will say that I believe our long distance dating relationship was healthier, but probably faced some difficulties that most couples do not due to culture differences, not so much distance.

    1. Thanks for sharing! That’s a really cool story. I think the absence of the physical aspect can be healthy for some people, guys especially. It forces you to love the actual person, rather than the potential benefits of being with that person. I’ll pass the info along.

  3. I’m not a big fan of long distance relationships. Ironically, I’m in one right now.

    We met through my blog actually. She lives in West Virginia and I live in Florida. We’ve already met twice and we’re definitely sure about this. It’s only been a few months and we’re both going crazy. She’s planning on moving down to Florida in the next month or two.

    I think long distance thing works for a short period but I definitely don’t think it’s wise to try to drag it on for long periods of time. It’s not healthy or even a real relationship…especially if you’ve never lived in the same city.

    1. It’s interesting that a connection of such magnitude has been formed that she’s willing to move to Florida. I think that speaks a lot to the power of long distance. It’s also interesting that you’re in a long distance relationship and would prefer not to be, yet you do it because you must feel that strongly about her. Thanks for commenting!

  4. It is hard…it can work…many times it does not work…can you tell I have had this conversation before…good post…I miss moons from burma just because it made no sense but is a great name for a band that I am about to start

    1. My dear old friend… we’ve spent many hours talking about this. If you start the band lemme know so I can come join. We’ll play all your favorites. “Blessed be your Name”, “Say Say”, and “Days of Elijah”…

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